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9 Steps To Improve Your Self Esteem

Jul 29, 2020
9 Steps To Improve Your Self Esteem

Self esteem is a state of mind. That is to say, we each have the power within ourselves to change it. However, without the right tools, it can be difficult to know where to start. As a result, there are many scenarios in which a lack of self esteem can inhibit your potential. Such as in the workplace or even when it comes to making new friends. In addition, your lack of self esteem might be a newer problem or something you’ve lived with for a long time. Either way, now is a good time as any to address it and become the best version of yourself.

In today’s post, I am going to share an exercise with you that can help you gain a new perspective on your situation. By completing it, you will generate the emotional state you need to boost your self esteem and confidence in general. 

Self Esteem Exercise: An Overview

To start the exercise, you need to imagine you have three mentors. (Some prefer the term ‘guardian angels’, so whatever works for you.) To clarify, these can be people you know and respect, or fictional characters who embody certain traits you want to develop. They can also be people you admire but may never have met, such as Nelson Mandela, the Dalai Lama or Mother Teresa. 

Meanwhile, choose people who you imagine would know what to do in your situation. For example, if you were having problems in your business and needed to be confident, you might select Sir Richard Branson as a mentor. Certainly, he knows a thing or two about self confidence. On the other hand, if you need to deal with a health issue, choose a mentor who is a shining example of health and vitality – Marie Curie, for example – or for instance, someone who you believe knows a lot about your condition.


Similarly, I often use my dad for this exercise. Although he passed away over 15 years ago I still ‘consult’ him on various things where I need his advice. Certainly, this may seem strange, but when you know someone as well as I knew Dad. Or know the ‘myth’ around a certain personality, it’s amazing how easy the advice arrives from that person. So, use whoever works best for you.

Self Esteem Boosting Exercise 

  1. Firstly, get yourself in a calm and relaxing place.

  2. Think of a challenging situation or a change that you want to make in your life. For instance, imagine a circle on the floor, just in front of you.

  3. After that, think of three people, animals, or imaginary beings (guardian angels, etc.) that love you or you’ve called upon to support you in your endeavours.

  4. Have them all stand next to you so you leave the circle in front of you empty.

  5. Imagine yourself stepping ‘into’ the first mentor and view yourself. What words of support would the mentor say to you? What resources does that mentor have that they could share with you to help you?

  6. Now step into the circle and bring your mentor with you, along with their words of wisdom and resources.

  7. Repeat steps 5 and 6 with your other two mentors.

  8. Once you’ve finished the process, your circle will be full of messages of support and internal resources. Such as self esteem and confidence you are ‘channelling’ from your mentors. If it helps, you can imagine them placing their hands on your shoulders as an expression of unity and strength.

  9. Now think about your challenge or the thing you want to change. Feel the strength and the resources you now have in facing this challenge. Most importantly, you are more robust and ready to go!

Building Self Esteem – Objectives

Certainly, the great thing about this exercise is that you can use it whenever you need to in order to boost your self esteem. After that, you don’t have to go through all the steps, you can imagine and call in your mentors when you need them to help you grow your own resources!

Most importantly, using your imagination in this way forces you to shift your perspective, and you may just come up with some useful insights. However, it doesn’t have to be anything mystical or ‘woo-woo’ about it. All this technique allows you to stand in someone else’s shoes for a moment. And from that vantage point, you may see a way forward that you couldn’t see before. In addition, it can be a very powerful and easy way to get past negativity and fear.

To Sum Up

In conclusion, I hope you’ve found the above exercise useful. I encourage you to screenshot or print it out so you can try it out at your convenience. Moreover, if you’d like to learn more about boosting your self esteem, be sure to follow this blog as I will be posting more exercises in the near future. On the other hand, if you feel like you need more guidance, for instance, if you simply feel stuck, you can learn more by checking out my book Your Life Your Way

Above all, for tailored help, you can also contact me. Likewise, as a Therapist and Executive Coach, I have spent the last 25 years helping my clients change the way they think and deal with many issues they may face. Meanwhile, I am currently offering virtual sessions on a number of issues including boosting self esteem.

Are you ready to do more with your life?

Contact Paula now to discuss how she can support you.