Do you lack self esteem? A lack of self esteem can manifest itself in various ways. As a life coach, I come across low self esteem in various forms. Boost your self esteem is very hard nowadays and it’s perhaps not surprising in today’s world of social media that so many have low self esteem. However, low self esteem can affect anyone regardless of age or gender. It’s something that prevents you from reaching your potential, and leaves you feeling very self critical.
If that sounds familiar, then the good news is you can find ways to overcome it! Here are 8 ways to boost your self esteem.
Identify What You Really Want
I have lost count of the people I coach who say, “I don’t really know what I want, but I know I don’t want this”. Often, they feel silly but, in reality, it’s a really great start! Sometimes you must figure out what you don’t want and what you don’t like before you can start creating or imagining what you do want.
Take some time to reflect on your life and consider where you lose the most confidence. What aspect of your life causes you the most anguish? If so, identify it and focus your energy on removing that hurdle, whether it’s a toxic partner who is constantly running you down, part of your job you feel ill-equipped to do, or simply poor skin!
Get Proactive To Boost Your Self Esteem
Like with any problem you are facing, seeking a proactive solution is far better than hoping things will change on their own. For example, my friend’s daughter was struggling with her skin and it was damaging her confidence. What made it worse was that it was a new phenomenon – she’d never had skin problems in her teens. It turned out that, as a student she had been eating too much cheese! Someone suggested she might be lactose intolerant, so she cut out dairy from her diet and her skin cleared up in a matter of weeks!
So, whatever is harming your self esteem, take the time to identify the cause and see if you can find a solution. Some things might be easier to fix than you think, and it will make you much more open to figuring out all the things you do want in your life. There could be many different causes of why you have self esteem. So a great first step is to speak to a life coach to identify your next steps.
Avoid Negative People
Be aware of people around you who bolster or diminish your self esteem and confidence. Surround yourself with people who appreciate your gifts instead of pointing out your weaknesses. It can be tough to cut negative people out of your circle, but if they are the cause of your low self esteem, you’ll be so glad you did. Find new ways of meeting people, and don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. It’s a far less scary prospect than remaining surrounded by people who don’t champion you!
To Boost Your Self Esteem Is To Improve Weaknesses
We all have a unique combination of strengths and weaknesses that we use in our lives. We may never turn our weaknesses into strengths, but if these weaknesses are holding us back, we can improve them enough they stop being handicaps. For example, say you hate public speaking and you are due to give a presentation at work. Your weakness would be a lack of confidence and experience in giving presentations.
So, in the build up you could practice in front of friends and family. Perhaps take a colleague to one side and ask for their opinion. Every scenario is different, but the key with improving weaknesses is to break them down brick by brick. Challenge what you are afraid of, especially if it’s hampering your self esteem.
Embrace Your Strengths
Focus on what you are good at, embrace those gifts and appreciate them. If you can’t think of anything now, think back to a time when you were in control, confident and you sorted something out. What was it that helped you? Resilience? Being organised? Being passionate? If you take the time to reflect, you will come up with some resources that you can conjure up again when you need them.
Knowing your strengths can really help boost self esteem, because it makes you keep a positive focus. Even in challenging situations where you lack confidence, thinking about strengths can help you find a way through. So, take some time to identify what you are good at and run with it.
Don’t Compare Yourself To Others
Don’t try to compare yourself to others. If we look, we can all find some element of our body, brain or life we wish we could change. Better hair, longer legs, a more academic brain. The list is endless!
At the age of 45 I decided my face was starting to go south. I have friends around my age who seem to be holding time back, and even a few who are starting to look younger! Of course, this just amplifies my fear that I need to do something. I know some of my friends are getting artificial help, but I quite like my eyebrows where they are and don’t want to look constantly surprised! BUT. I still catch myself comparing. For some people, how they look is a real emotional challenge and it can be exhausting. No amount of magazine articles saying, ‘love what you have’ is going to make them feel better.
If you find this happening to you, I urge you to do what I do: Broaden out who you are. In other words, consider all that you are, do, have achieved, and not just what you look like. Life is so much more than one dimension, whether that dimension is looks, brains, achievements, etc.
Curb The Dread
Those of us who struggle with low self-esteem or self-confidence tend to be negative about outcomes before we have even experienced them. This may seem like a sensible strategy, because we can manage expectations for ourselves and others, but remember the Pygmalion Effect: We get what we expect. Catch yourself when you do this.
Accept that things will be what they will be, regardless of how much we try to anticipate the outcome. Besides, sometimes not getting the outcome we want – or getting the outcome we dread – might just be the right thing for us at that time. Most of us give the best we have at the time, and that’s all we can ask for, regardless of the outcome!
Do What You Love To Boost Your Self Esteem
We are at our happiest when we are doing what we love. It could be baking, walking in the countryside – it doesn’t have to be something earth-shattering, just something you love to do. Do it more often. Start taking small steps today, even if they seem insignificant. Do something that moves you toward improved self esteem and greater self confidence. It’s worth it!
To Sum Up
If you want to boost your self esteem, the key is to address the way you think, feel and act towards yourself. While that’s easier said than done, the right approach can make all the difference. So, focus on what you are good at and address any weak areas. Get proactive, and surround yourself with those who champion you, not tear you down.
I hope the above advice has been useful. For more information, my latest book, Your Life Your Way, offers practical ways to improve your self esteem and move ahead with your life.